I guess this is it
by Dolfijn5
Summary: AU where Mario is depressed. Multiple one shots
1. I guess this is it

WARNING : This fanfic can be quite dark themed.

if you are thinking of dying or anything close to that, call your countries suicidal hotline

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I guess this is it…

The end of it all.

Just quit and let it be over.

The torture I've been going through, the one no one is seeing.

The one that everyone seems to be ignoring.

Sorry to everyone I leave behind, jack especially….

You probably need to clean up the mess I created, and the one I am going to create.

Just be happy that I won't be something that is holding you back anymore.

Just know I've always cared about you, but I can't go on any longer.

Maybe this seems weird to the one who will find me in a horrible state.

Sorry if you need to see the mess, this note,knives or my body.

This raging war in my head just doesn't stop by itself, so I need to do it.

Don't call an ambulance, just leave me… I don't need to be saved anymore.

It's too late, the damage is probably already done.

To the one who's reading this, I did this just to escape the darkness.

The mess in my head, the horrible thoughts.

Not being able to do anything, just because of the negativity.

I hope you all understand why I've done this…..

I guess this is it…

Mario

—

AUTHORS NOTE:

Just needed to vent some stuff without being to explicit…

Dolfijn5


	2. Thoughts

Just some put thoughts put together, into some sort of story-ish thing.

—

**Thoughts**

**Rated : T**

This raging war inside that nobody's seeing, nobody cares. They would rather see me die than save me. Why bother saving someone who is already lost… even when you want help, you don't receive it because they don't care. the raging war isn't going to stop soon, the thoughts aren't going to stop either. They just keep adding more pressure, with the words and expectations. Just to much and to high.

if they do try to help, it isn't enough or to late. Because the sickness is demanding more and more, even if I try to set my mind on something else it will demand more of my attention. I just want the demanding to end, the negativity to end...

If I could just end it all without hurting anyone, I would have done it right away. Then I wouldn't have been a nuisance to anyone anymore. But that isn't the case right now.

I just need to try and keep going on like this….

M


	3. Depressed rewrite

this is an updated version of 'depressed' that I made 3 years ago.

With changes, for example from luigi to jack (my oc)

And it is loosely related to my other Mario fanfic that I haven't finished (let love be love).

—

Mario

22:00

I'm awake, jack is laying next to me. But I'm awake.

I'm just thinking a lot right now, how I'm lying to everyone's faces.

Only jack knows what's going on though. Jack is holding me, don't know what he's dreaming about but it must be nice.

22:40

Still awake,

I see the scars on my forearms, people probably know I did it myself.

I stopped saving peach ages ago, so why would I have so many scars if I don't fight anymore. I guess it has become quite obvious.

But they don't know why I do it, even jack doesn't. It's just so hard to accept that everybody hates me because of my relationship and my sort of hatred for trevor.

He's just so annoying and also kind of homophobic, which is why peach never visits me anymore. He also put the whole kingdom against me because of my relationship with jack.

23:47

I've gotten used to stay inside the house, only jack does the grocery shopping. I don't know what kind of hate he gets over him but probably the same as I used to get. I saw him come home once with bruises, because apparently people have been beating him up that day. They did the same to me, the only difference is that I knew how to fight back. But still they never stopped, so eventually jack did the grocery shopping.

I just hope I don't burden him to much

00:10

He's just too sweet, he does literally everything for me if I 'can't'.

And what I mean with 'can't' is, what my sickness doesn't allow me to do. I've been suffering from depression for a couple years now, I haven't been going to my psychiatrist because he's the same as everyone else. The last thing he said was "you should not be such a weakling, you've gotten this way because of your relationship".

Again this was Trevor's work, he found out I had been going to therapy. He offered the psychiatrist money to tell me those words he told me. Trevor always finds out where I'm at or what I'm doing, it's because he has people working for him. Ever since he became married to peach he wanted me out of his way.

I guess he got his way…..

A sort of new story, I hope you like it

Dolfijn5


End file.
